dreams

i had a dream this morning.
the dream still gives me distinct and striking mental images even till now. it's still fresh and vivid in my mind. usually dreams are forgettable for me.

Scene 1: the CNY gathering
I'm in this room with my relatives and unidentified people. Feeling of something missing. We are seated on plastic chairs lined in circles. I think 3 circles. I suddenly realized great grandma was beside me. I started clinging on to her arm, just like when i was little. I asked, "So are you really here?". She replied, "Only some of you can see me.". I was smiling endlessly. She started pointing out who could see her.

All of a sudden, an elderly man appears. He's partially bald and dressed in dull clothes unlike our bright new year frocks. He wants to take her seat. I'm frantic! I can't let him sit where she is! I lead him to the restroom then return to my seat. She's gone.

Scene 2: Phototaking
We almost never had a family photo together with great grandma. As far as i can remember.

Scene 3: Heading to somewhere cold
We all start moving. Pushing metal trolleys with trays of foodstuff. Someone comments it reminds us of how great grandma was wheeled out. There's this food factory now which is totally irrelevant to whatever that has happened. Frozen prawns etc....

YAY! :)

just one more paper to go...

i feel like one of those many trampled flowers already

reminds me of a song:

Like a Rose trampled on the ground

You took the fall and thought of me

Above all

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever

ISAIAH 40:8

sweet memories

missing mother
at times like this, i wished time would stop.

talking about ah tai, her favourite smelly beans we had for dinner. reminds me when i was little, pushing the metal trolley in shop n save at century square. watching fish being cleaned and gutted.

after the shopping trip, ah tai asking me to get a cup of corn or muah chee. maybe thats why i've got a sweet and salty tooth. going home hand in hand. that was how weekends were spent. when i was young.

though it seemed then like routined activities on weekends, those are the memories that i cherish and hold dear to my heart. for i know, those times cannot be bought or take place again..

rest in peace

we will meet again

goodbye

you left us on friday night 

it was so sudden

the only saving grace 

is that you are at peace 

you'll be missed

I will rise from waters deep

Into the saving arms of God

I will sing salvation songs

Jesus Christ has set me free

reflection

there was a time,

when there was still a tomorrow

but tomorrow with you now 

might just disappear 

before i can see you 

and eat with you

i regret

it was easy to say 

there is a tomorrow

now

it's difficult to enjoy 

what i could give you 

yesterday

perfect love casts out all fear